Beyond Bouncing Back: The True Essence of Resilient Leadership

Each day, Shaun Tomson makes the choice to practice resilient leadership. This practice began in 1975 during a surfing competition at Waimea Bay in Hawaii, long before Tomson ever consulted with a business or spoke to a Vistage group.

At the time, Tomson says that waves at Waimea Bay were surfing’s equivalent of Mount Everest, the pinnacle of big-wave riding. Then, a professional surfer, Tomson felt awe at the size of the waves — watching the water fall from them was like watching buildings crumble.

When it was Tomson’s turn, he rode an enormous wave but wiped out, was dragged under the water, and nearly drowned in a riptide. He knew that no help would arrive, as competitions in that era had no rescue team and no lifeguards. It was just him and his board alone in the water.

Tomson struggled back to his board, land within sight, and saw that he had an existential choice to make. If he went back to shore, he’d surely lose the competition. If he paddled back out to catch another wave, he had a chance to win.

At that moment, Tomson chose to paddle back out and catch another wave, a choice that he’s stuck with since that day.

He didn’t win the competition, but he learned that being resilient means having hope, being committed to your purpose, and taking actions that reflect that hope and purpose. And that’s what he teaches the executives and leaders across the country.

“Resilience is a committed intention,” says Tomson, a Vistage speaker and author of several books, including The Code: The Power of I Will. “By paddling back out, I’m going to get the next wave. It’s an apt metaphor for anyone in business. When things collapse, and they will, what are you going to do? Are you going to paddle in or are you going to paddle back out. It’s a simple, fundamental choice.”

Even through the death of a child, which Tomson experienced in 2006, he and his wife made the choice to continue paddling back out, knowing that the sun will rise again tomorrow. Life isn’t always fair, but it always gives leaders the chance to practice resilience, beyond “bouncing back” and toward growing through adversity.

The Traits of Resilient Leadership

As Bob Day testified before the Portland City Council, he felt his heart racing. He looked at his Apple Watch and saw that his heart rate was 120 beats per minute, far above his resting rate.

Day, a Visage speaker, owner and CEO of Reluctant Change and chief of the Portland Police Bureau in Oregon, says that it was a contentious meeting, but it was completely nonviolent.

No one was shooting at him; he wasn’t in trouble. His body was simply having a fight-or-flight response, made to help him escape trouble, something that any leader practicing resilience must grow accustomed to feeling.

After the meeting, Day calmed down. He assessed the situation and messaged the members of the Council with whom he disagreed, inviting them to discuss the issue further. All responded positively, and Day was happy to practice resilient leadership right after a hard moment.

For Day, practicing resilient leadership is about being able to move forward in the face of adversity. Sometimes, that means assessing the situation and ensuring people are safe and protected before moving forward. Sometimes, as with the City Council, it means staying calm through a stressful situation before continuing to resolve it.

However, resilient leadership always means embracing the moment, learning from it, and working to resolve any lingering issues, while maintaining faith that you will prevail.

Like Tomson, Day also believes that resilience always means being able to persevere and continue without abandoning hope. Day compares resilient leadership to the Stockdale Paradox, a term coined by author Jim Collins to describe Admiral James Stockdale’s experience as a prisoner of war.

According to the Stockdale Paradox, one must confront the brutal facts of current reality while maintaining an unwavering faith that they will prevail.

To be effectively resilient through the most challenging times, Day also believes that leaders must have a vision and purpose in addition to their hope. Like Tomson, Day and his wife also lost a child and worked hard to never abandon hope and a vision for what they want their lives to be, even when life felt bleak.

“Hope gave us something to shoot for but also challenged us to keep striving towards our purpose,” Day says, citing their ability to stay together as a couple and continue for their daughter.

Business leaders often dismiss hope as inactive or weak, Day says, but he believes that hope is something active, something leaders can practice each day.

“Hope is moving towards a goal,” Day says. “Living with hope, with a goal in mind of where we’re going to move towards, is better than sitting around and waiting to be overcome by the next event. Leaders are dealers in hope.”

Changing Your Mindset

Learning resilient leadership is less about gaining new knowledge and more about changing one’s mindset, Tomson says. Resilience reflects choosing between quitting and growing in the face of problems.

“You’ve got to be imbued with a sense of hope, and you have to have a committed purpose,” Tomson says. “That’s what resilience is to me.”

To find a purpose, Tomson instructs attendees of his talks to take out a sheet of paper, write “I will” 12 times, and then spend 15 minutes listing the things they will do. He calls this writing their “Code,” and says it helps give people a sense of purpose by showing them the things inside themselves that they want to be doing.

The lines may read “I will volunteer,” “I will lead by example,” or “I will be a light in the darkness.” But whatever is written across those 12 lines, Tomson says that these committed statements — especially when read aloud in front of a peer group or team — are a powerful way to find one’s own Code while creating accountability and unity for a team.

“The CEO can tell their stories, their codes, and get their team to share their own codes,” Tomson says. “Any CEO can do it, and it has a terrific impact on an organization. When you look at your own words, your own vision, they give you energy and power, they give you commitment.”

One way to multiply the impact of this exercise, Tomson says, is for the executive to find a personal story that tells the tale of resilience. Tomson tells the story of paddling back out, and one can feel the hope and purpose behind his resilience. Business leaders can do the same for themselves and those whom they lead.

“Any leader can find a story that relates to this concept of a loss or failure, and what the reaction was to that failure,” Tomson says. “The simple story arc of how the hero overcame the failure, and ultimately what he learned from the failure. Achieving success through failure and learning to become a better human being is a powerful story.”

Research by Stanford professor Jennifer Anker has revealed that stories are remembered up to 22 times more than facts alone. Stories are a simple and powerful way to inspire and unify teams.

Another way to foster this mindset change is by joining a like-minded group of leaders. Humans are tribal by nature, Day says, but leaders tend to feel isolated. By joining a group of like-minded, resilient leaders, such as Vistage, Day says that executives can draw strength from one another.

“We allow ourselves to tell each other stories to make sense of what we’re facing,” Day says. “We need to be in community, because we need that support network and those relationships to make sense of what’s happening.”

Beyond what happens at work, practicing resilient leadership comes in all phases of life. Leaders must take care of their physical health with exercise, their social health with personal connections, their emotional health by becoming aware of how they feel, and their mental resilience by reducing stress and practicing mindfulness.

Find ways to build and support your physical, social and emotional well-being.

Visit the Vistage CEO Health & Wellness Resource Center.

A focus on health adds to one’s purpose of being resilient, something of a spiritual practice itself, Tomon says. When that purpose is strong enough, it can feed the entire company and its customers.

“For me, the purpose is the new profit in business,” Tomson says. “When a customer wants to buy a product, he wants to be a part of a purposeful company, and not a company that’s out there just for profit, sales and growth. What is the company doing socially? What is the company doing environmentally? There has to be a sort of a reason for being beyond enriching the shareholders.”

Vulnerability and Engagement Fosters a Resilient Team

In his work as police chief, and even as a Vistage speaker, Day has seen that leaders are often willing to be transparent but often lose vulnerability with their teams in tough moments. Vulnerability, he believes, is a key trait of resilient leadership, one that will help foster a resilient organization.

The key difference between vulnerability and transparency is emotional honesty. In transparency, Day says that leaders may tell the team what’s happening, how they’re going to solve an issue, and what each employee should do.

With vulnerability, leaders show that they don’t have it all figured out — they may tell the team it will be difficult, that the result is not guaranteed, and that finding the solution could be a struggle. Vulnerable leaders refuse to sugarcoat the details.

“I’ve been out on scenes that I know are going to upset our community, and I’ve had advisors say, ‘Maybe we shouldn’t say this,’” Day says. “But I’m going to say it all. I’d rather be the one to lead this conversation and to give people hope.”

When leaders express vulnerability and transparency, Day says they must also have a plan. It’s the leader’s job to have an opinion on what to do, and the team expects that. Leaders are sometimes afraid to show their vulnerability, even with a plan, but Day says that he draws strength from his vulnerability, and so does his team.

“Nobody roots for somebody who appears to be perfect or unfazed by what’s happening,” Day says. “It doesn’t mean that I go into roll call and cry every day. But there’s a level of strength and confidence that comes from demonstrating your humanity. That ties directly into being a resilient leader.”

Engagement and connection with employees are also essential to ensure that the entire company becomes more resilient, Day says. People in the workforce want to know that you have their back.

In his job as police chief, Day doesn’t go out and work radio calls like he used to, but he wants to understand what his officers deal with each day. And he wants his team to know a bit about what he deals with, hence the honesty and vulnerability.

“A common trait among leaders who demonstrate resiliency is that they’re engaged with their team,” Day says. “Maybe it’s not their personality or their style—they aren’t funny or outgoing or whatever — but staying relevant helps others know that they’re in good hands with the leader. You’re going to fail as a leader, but there’s a greater amount of grace attributed to the leader who stays connected and vulnerable, because employees know that it’s not lazy or superficial. It’s just a mistake, and we all make mistakes.”

A Daily Practice

Practicing resilient leadership is a moment-to-moment, day-to-day practice in changing one’s mindset.
There are small habits that help leaders thrive, such as practicing gratitude, forgiving themselves and their employees when mistakes occur, and connecting with nature. Tomson learned these lessons in his darkest moments of practicing resilience.

But like Tomson paddling back out to catch a big wave in the face of danger, there’s a mindset shift that takes place for the most resilient leaders. They decide to accept that failures and mistakes do happen, but that matters far less than their hope and purpose. They decide to keep a positive attitude and always move forward, even amid dire circumstances.

These leaders can better help themselves by having nurturing relationships where they can laugh, be honest, and learn from others. “CEO is a very lonely position in many ways,” Tomson says. “Vistage is a wonderful group where CEOs can get together and be honest. The Vistage groups that I’ve interacted with have a generalized feeling of hope and optimism. It’s almost like it’s an emotional contagion.”

Ultimately, resilient leadership is an individual journey, Day says. One can read all the books, listen to all the podcasts, or attend all the groups they’d like, but resilience can only be practiced in the privacy of one’s inner self. This is why Day sees self-awareness as one of the best practices for leaders who want more resilience — where are they uncomfortable in their lives and in their business? And how can they become comfortable with that discomfort?

“I would encourage people to be willing to be comfortable in the uncomfortable,” Day says. “That’s where you’re going to grow. That’s where the strength is going to come from. We don’t get better when it’s easy.”

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